About personal life

clipped from www.comics.com

I've wanted to write about some personal stuff for quite some time and because I'm sick of complaining about job applications to everyone including my blog, and because I feel enough time has passed, I think now is the time to do that. *Cough, cough*. It is very common that women in astronomy date men in astronomy, or that women in astronomy date women in astronomy, (probably men in astronomy also date men in astronomy but I have no personal example of that). Not only do they date each other, but they get married too. I have always been ambivalent on whether that's a good idea. At times (like now) I have been convinced that's actually a terrible idea. I am sure there are zillions of theories and pontifications on the benefits and pitfalls of dating in the workplace, but I never read them. May be I should have. I can certainly understand the allure of such a relationship - takes a lot less explaining what you do, how you do it, why is it important and why do you need to move every couple of years or so. It makes for a supportive relationship and both people are usually equally smart and accomplished. In fact the being together part is great. It's the breaking up part that I don't recommend. Especially if there is a very real threat you'll keep running into each other for the rest of your lives at conferences and such. Especially if you don't keep things very amicable. Especially if the relationship is at the point where the whole department knows ... and your collaborators around the world too. Especially if you stick with him whole he goes through tough times only so that you don't tear his life apart but he doesn't seem to care that your job applications have higher priority that his books still at your house. Then it sucks so bad that you never want to do it again. Ever. Ever. I already have two such corpses too many and that's enough. Amen.